


I can see the pain in your eyes

by Luni_Ambrose



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Blood and Gore, F/M, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painplay, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:56:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luni_Ambrose/pseuds/Luni_Ambrose
Summary: It was all just a phrase. A lie. //I’m fine.// She wasn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my newest Story-Baby
> 
> This story will contain: anxiety, panic attacks, self-harm and a lot more heavy stuff along the way.  
> So be warned.

The weather was terrible. Heavy rain pouring down, drenching her clothes. About half an hour earlier she and several other fans had been kicked out of the hotel. Everyone else had left because of the shitty weather.   
She was freezing while the wind messed up her hair even more. Even though it was already may it was cold outside. Paired with a heavy storm.

She just stood there, staring into her reflection in the huge glass front. Hands burried in her pockets, her red hair drenched. The make up she had put on earlier running down her cheeks.  
From time to time a wrestler or crew member walked through the lobby. From catering to the elevators. Without paying attention to anything. Not even the few fans that were still inside because they’ve booked a room.

Time passed by. Another hour later she wasn’t able to feel any part of her body anymore. The rain was still pouring down like hell.   
Suddenly she felt something wrapped around her shoulders. „You’re going to get a cold.“  
Slowly she turned to look at the person. It was Dean Ambrose. He smiled at her gently. „If you want you can join us… just no pictures at the bar.“ Dean _winked_ at her.  
She was too overwhelmed to say anything. Silently she followed Dean into the hotel. Staff walked up to them, offering another blanket. Gladly she nodded and Dean wrapped another blanked around her shoulder.  
„We’ll provide towels if you like. And if you've got something to change into we can dry your clothes.“  
„No, I got nothing…“ She whispered with a broken voice.  
„I’ll get something for you…“ Dean said, guiding her to some random chairs in the corner of the lobby. „Just wait here… I'll get dry clothes for you.“

She just sat there. Holding on to the blankets wrapped around her shoulders. She always loved the feeling. It felt…save. Like nothing or no one could harm her if she was wrapped into a blanket tightly.   
It took about ten minutes for Dean to come back. In his hands he had clothes. A staff member from the noble hotel followed him.   
„These should fit.“ He mumbled before handing them over.  
„There is a bathroom in the business center. Right down that hallway, second door left. You can leave your wet stuff there. I'll pick it up. Here is a towel.“ The young woman smiled. Mostly at Dean the whole time.

Slowly she walked to the bathroom, feeling the eyes of the other fans on her back. What the hell was happening? Why did Dean just walked up to a random fan? This was nothing he would do.   
She quickly changed into the dry clothes Dean had given to her. When she took a closer look she saw it was a power rangers shirt, black sweatpants and a 2k19 jacket.   
This wasn’t just a simple co incident. That she knew for a fact. While she started cleaning up the mess her make up made she thought about the last time she met that nerd with the exact same shirt….

  
_„I can see the pain in your eyes, Luna.“ Mike’s voice was trembling._   
_He had been arguing with her for over an hour._   
_„You can’t see shit. You’re just a god damn nerd! Just let it be. It was a mistake to even talk to you.“ She just stood up, about to leave his hotel room._   
_„I see the cuts. I see the sadness in your eyes. I can see your pain. I can feel the darkness. I beg you…stop cutting yourself.“_

  
_She left without a word._

 

Dressed in the provided outfit, hair tamed a little bit and the make up mess cleaned up she left the bathroom. Dean stood in front of the business center. His left hand gently tapping in a fast pace on his tigh. He definitely felt uncomfortable.  
Silently she followed him back to the lobby, the staff looking at her. Like the fans.   
When they arrived at the bar she felt really uncomfortable. Eight pairs of eyes staring at her. All she wanted to do was leave.   
Dean felt her nervousness. He wrapped the blanket he carried with him around her shoulders.  
„So yeah… what do you want to drink?“ Dean asked, his hand gently petting his short hair.   
„Whiskey Coke, please.“   
Dean pointed at one of the empty chairs. „Take a seat…They won’t bite. Apart from Seth.“   
Said long haired wrestler rolled his eyes while the rest laughed.   
„I guess you know all of us?“ Tyler Breeze asked after she took the seat next to Elias.  
„Yes…“ Luna mumbled, playing with her fingers.  
Her eyes wandered around the large table. Apart from Seth, Elias and Tyler there were Baron, Sami, Kevin, Finn and her personal enemy Mike Rome.   
„That’s Luna.“ Mike said as their eyes met. She felt her heart beating fast in her chest. Making her feel even more uncomfortable.   
Dean came back with her drink. And a hot chocolate.  
„Maybe you need something to warm up.“ He said, placing the cup right in front of her. The Whiskey Coke next to it.   
„Thanks.“ She wrapped herself tighter into the cozy blanket. Memories of her argument with Mike came back.

_„This isn’t living. You’re dying from the inside. I just want to help you…keep you save. Because I care. I see your beautiful inside. Just because you choose to lock your soul away doesn’t mean it’s gone. Just let me help you.“ Mike said, his hands holding hers._   
_They were sitting on his hotel bed. They had met a few times before and he just couldn’t stand the pain in her eyes. So he had asked her to talk in private. After a little smalltalk he asked about her scars._   
_She felt comfortable with him. He made it easy to just talk. And so she told her story. About everything that went wrong in her life. About shattered dreams and hopes. About cutting herself on a quite regular bases. About her wish to just end her miserable life._   
_Mike listened. Staying silent most of the time, just holding her hands to make her feel not alone. When he finally started to speak again she got upset very quickly. He told her about therapy. Maybe someone professional would help. A specialized clinic maybe._   
_That was the point where it all escalated._   
_„I’m fine, Mike.“_

It was all just a phrase. A lie. _I’m fine_. She wasn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

While the guys started talking about something Luna just stared at the mug in front of her. This _must_ have been Mike’s idea. She saw him as the fans got kicked out of the hotel. The shirt was clearly his. She could smell it. Smell him. Somehow it was pretty calming but on the other side it just made her angry. More towards herself.

  
It had never been his fault that her life sucked so badly. He just wanted to help her in some way.

Slowly she reached for her hot chocolate, sipping gently while her mind drifted to an earlier meet up with the nerdy ring announcer.

 

 _„There is this fanpage… with daily uploads and inspiring quotes.“ Luna smiled at Mike as they were standing in the venue. He looked good in his black suit._  
_„It’s you!“ He laughed._  
_„Uhm.. yeah…“ She played with the little Batman keychain in her hands. „So..what gave it away?“_

  
_Mike looked around nervously before he got closer. „You shouldn’t post the same quotes on your private profile if you really want to make sure nobody finds out..“ His voice was rough while he whispered. It made her shiver._  
_„Is it that bad? I mean.. I can stop posting on the fanpage if you don’t like it.“_

  
_„No, keep it up. Keep those great inspiring stuff coming. Have to go now.. see you later, maybe?“_  
_She nodded as he rushed to the back to get something to drink before the show continued._

 

She realized somebody was actually talking to her.  
It was Seth.  
„Uhm sorry… What did you say?“ Luna tried to fake a smile.  
„You hair is still wet. Do you want to dry it?“ Seth’s eyes were burning holes into her soul.  
„Guess that would be a good idea.“

  
He got up. „Just follow me.“ He smiled.  
She looked at Mike before drinking up her Whiskey and joining Seth.  
Something about the whole situation was strange. Luna couldn’t name it, but something was off.  
She stood in the elevator with Seth, silently. She felt him watching while she played with her hands in her pockets.

His room was clean. Like, nothing was even touching the ground. His bed made, the suitcase closed next to the huge mirror. Seth opened his suitcase, pulling out a brush and his own hairdryer.  
„Would you mind if I help you?“ He asked softly.

  
She shrugged her shoulders. „If you want to dry off a strangers hair… feel free.“ He pointed at the chair next to him before plugging in the dryer.  
Gently he brushed and dried her red hair. She felt herself relax, nearly enjoying what Seth was doing. Normally she disliked every kind of physical interaction with anyone. But it was calming.

  
When he finished he unplugged the dryer and started cleaning the brush while Luna braided her hair.  
„Thank you, Seth.“  
„No problem.“ He sat down on the bed, facing her. „I can tell that you’re feeling stressed. That you don’t know what’s going on. Mike told us a little bit about you. He cares so much about you. And that you totally ignored him while the show tonight… he just wanted to make sure you’re okay.“

  
Luna rolled her eyes. „Mike doesn’t know me. I'm fine. Yeah… I struggled with my life the last time we met… but now I'm okay.“  
Seth let out a little sigh. „Okay… Let’s head back to the bar.“

 

Back at the bar she already had another whiskey placed on the table in front of her.  
Seth whispered something to Baron while Luna drank the rest of her chocolate before turning her attention to the whiskey.  
Dean ordered a whole bottle whiskey and some coke for the whole table. Mike was still silent, just watching closely.

Luna felt Baron's eyes on her the whole time. She felt nervous. Slowly she wrapped herself back into the blanket, searching for some kind of comfort. She had another glass of whiskey. Slowly she felt alcohol kicking in, making the situation a bit less scary.

  
„Luna, could I take you for a walk?“ It was Baron. She nodded before peeling herself out of her safety blanket. Silently she followed Baron to the elevator. The other fans were gone by now.  
They walked through the corridor on the fifth floor, ending up in his room.  
„So.. nice to meet you, Luna.“ Baron started the conversation.  
„Uhm.. yeah.. Nice meeting you, Baron.“ She just stood in the middle of the room, staring out of the big window. The storm was still going.  
„Seth told me he saw bandages on just wrist.“

  
Her eyes went wide. „ _Excuse me_?“

  
„Mike told us you’re harming yourself. You got pretty wet out there. I just want to take care of them. The dampness can cause serious problems.“ He paced around in his room, ending up in front of the mini bar. „You want anything?“

  
„Whatever has enough to let me forget about what is happening right now…“ She laughed, walking up to Baron.  
„Uhm. Beer? Or this…“ He pulled out a can of sparkling wine.  
„I’ll take that one.“ He passed the can, grabbing her wrist. She flinched, trying to get away.

  
„Just let me take a look. I won’t tell Mike. And neither does Seth.“ Luna nodded and Baron let go of her wrist. She opened the can before emptying it in one huge sip. Then she took off the jacket, tossing it onto his bed.  
Her bandage was indeed wet. Baron started to unwrap it carefully. The cuts were quite deep and already slightly infected.

  
„Good God. That’s looking painful, Luna.“  
„I don’t care.“ She sat down on his bed while he grabbed his first aid kit from the suitcase.  
Gently Baron cleaned the cuts before putting on new bandages. „Are there any more cuts?“  
Slowly she nodded, pulling up the power ranger shirt to reveal several more slightly infected cuts.

  
„Those doesn’t look good either.“ He mumbled before he cleaned them. She didn’t even flinched. Her eyes were closed the entire time. Baron could tell that she was fighting off an anxiety attack.

  
„Hey.. everything is okay. Just breathe.“ He said, stopping his first aid attempt.

  
Her world was spinning. It was too much for her to process. It felt like she wasn’t getting enough air into her burning lungs. Baron took out his phone, sending a text while babbling something to Luna.

  
Baron turned on some music on his phone before sitting down next to Luna. Close enough for her to feel that she wasn’t alone but far enough not to touch her in any kind.

  
„Just listen to the music. Focus on the lyrics.“ He turned up the volume.

  
Her skin began to tingle. She felt weak. Luna couldn’t focus on anything. She didn’t even realized how Baron got up and opened the door.

  
Somebody appeared in her view. Desperately she tried to focus.


	3. Chapter 3

„Hey… Breath for me.“ She still couldn’t really focus but she knew his voice. It was Finn. He placed his hands on her knees. Luna tried to get away from his touch. Finn quickly removed his hands.

  
„Okay, Luna. I know you feel anxious right now. And that is okay. Because everyone does sometimes. It will go away soon. Just let it be there for a moment. What do you feel right now?“

  
Finn’s voice was so soft and gentle. She tried a few times before finally words came out. „Panic. Fear. Everything tingles. Can’t breath.“  
„You can breath. Do you want to get over to the window to get some fresh air?“

  
She nodded. Finn stood up, holding out his hand to pull her up. With shaking knees she got up. With every step it just got worse. Baron had already opened the window, placed a chair right in front of it. Finn helped Luna sitting down.

  
„Do you want a blanket? Downstairs you looked relaxed with one…“

  
Again she just nodded. Gasping for air. Tears streaming down her face as Finn placed the huge blanket around her. „Can I just wrap my arms around you with the blanket in between?“   
Luna felt insecure but nodded. Careful Finn wrapped his arms around her from behind. She could hear his breathing against her ear.

  
„There is a storm outside…“ He whispered. „Like inside your mind right now. And that is totally fine. Sometimes it gets too much. That does not make you weak. Your soul wants your attention. So it makes you feel this way. Try to focus for me. Do you hear the rain?“  
Luna nodded.

  
„Do you feel the cold air on your face?“  
„A little…“  
Finn kept asking things. And she didn’t even realized how calm she got.

  
„You’re a strong woman, Luna. Just watch your anxiety fly out of this window. It will disappear in the rain. Gets washed away. It's gone now…“ Slowly he let go of her.   
Finn helped her back to the bed, the blanket still tightly wrapped around her shoulders.

  
„Why did you start to feel anxious?“   
„He touched me.. I…I don’t like that normally. I…I hate my cuts. Nobody should see them. I disappointed Mike… he asked me to never do this again. It just got worse. And now he set up this whole thing and all of you are so sweet and supportive. I don’t know how to feel. Or how I should talk to Mike.“ It just bursted out of her. She felt so relieved.

  
„I'm sorry, Luna. I never wanted to cause this…“ Baron, who stood silently in the corner, said. „But those cuts need some aid. I've seen much worse, let me tell you.“ He walked up to sit next to her.   
„We can try…“ She said, biting her lower lip as she unwrapped herself. She pulled the shirt up once again so Baron could finish his first aid.

  
Finn was talking to Luna the whole time so she remained calm. „And as far as I know… Mike would never be disappointed. You’re still here. Still breathing. That’s all that matters.“ With that said the three made their way to the elevator. Luna stayed close to Finn the whole time.

 

„You want me to sit next to you?“ Finn asked as they entered the bar. Luna nodded, feeling save with him.   
Sitting between Finn and Elias was okay for her. Finn ordered a cup of tea for Luna, as well as he poured pure coke into her glass.  
„Your body must be exhausted.“ The Irish man smiled as he whispered to her.  
„Yes. And thank you. Never got out of an attack that fast.“

  
„You should get yourself one of those heavy blankets…they seem to work miracles. And research some good ASMR videos. I have some friends with anxiety. That’s why I've learned all those technics. Glad that they worked on you.“ He placed his hand on Luna's shoulder. It was more than okay because there was still a blanket in-between. And she felt comfortable with Finn close by.

 

After silently finishing her tea Luna reached for the bottle of whiskey. Mike had the same idea and their hands touched. Awkwardly she pulled her hand back, hitting her glass of coke. The brown liquid spilled all over the table. She jumped up, mumbling something nobody understood before storming off.   
It took them a moment to process what just happened. It was Mike who jumped up and followed her. But when he reached the lobby she was gone. No one was sitting on the reception, no one was sitting in the lobby.

  
He walked back into the bar.

 

„She ran.“ He said.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean got up. „I’ve got an idea… Corbin, Bálor with me… Rome, you should go up to your room. We'll tell you when we have found her. The rest should just stay here or go to sleep.“

  
He was followed by Finn and Baron as he left the bar, heading to the business center. He found the bathroom easily. One stall was closed off. He heard her crying and sobbing.   
„Luna?“ Dean asked, standing right in front of the door.

  
 _Something_ fell to the ground.

 

And Dean knew exactly what it was. „Luna, please open the door. Nothing bad happened. It was just a little spill. It’s already cleaned.“   
She didn’t answer. Baron walked up to the door, a multitool in his hand. „I’m going to open up this door right now.“

  
Still there was just her muffled cries filling the cold room. Baron opened the door with ease. Gently he opened the door. Luna sat there, both arms covered in her blood. On the ground a bloody razorblade and her phone case with more blades. Her eyes wide, staring at the dripping blood.

  
Finn got some paper towels, approaching slowly.   
„Hey… it’s okay. I'm gonna clean this up a little. Okay? Can I do that?“ He kneeled in front of her, waiting patiently for her to nod before he gently whiped away some of the blood. He couldn’t see any serious cuts. He felt relieved. When he finished cleaning her arms a little he grabbed both of her hands. Stroking them ever so slightly. Her eyes closed nearly immediately.

  
„You can feel me. My fingers on your skin. Gentle. Soft. You’re alive. You saw your blood. You felt the pain. You’re still alive. You don’t need to be afraid. Nobody is upset. Nobody is angry. Accidents happen. I want you to feel my hands.“ He touched her arms, avoiding the fresh cuts. Up her arms to her shoulders. „Nobody will hurt you. Everything is fine. You are okay. You’re save with us.“ Careful he touched her face, whiping away the tears.

  
„I want you to get up now. You can keep your eyes closed. I'm gonna put the jacket over your shoulders. I'll stay behind you and guide you. Baron will be walking in front of us.“   
Finn kept talking to her while she kept her eyes closed. In the elevator she leaned back. Her back leaning against his chest. „Everything is fine.. You'll get through this.“  
Baron and Dean watching silently.

  
They arrived in Baron’s room where Finn placed her on the bed. „Now you’re save. It’s just us… you can open your eyes.“  
While Finn kept her mind busy Baron started to clean up her arms. No severe cut. A few bandages did the job.

 

„Do you feel comfortable enough to see Mike? He is worried as hell.“ Dean asked after a while.   
Luna nodded and Dean texted Mike. In a matter of minutes he knocked on the door. Corbin opened. Mike’s eyes were red. He just stood in the middle of the hotel room, looking at the broken girl with all those bandages on. There was definitely a little bit of disappointment in his eyes and that broke Luna’s heart.

  
„Sorry…“ She whispered, lowering her eyes to the ground.   
„It’s okay. You’re here and alive. That’s all that matters right now.“ He sat down on the other side of her. Watching her reaction. Instinctively she grabbed Finn’s hand on the other side. With a little bit of reassuring she leaned against Mike. Hearing his heart beating fast.

  
 _Alive_.   
The both were _alive_.

  
„I’m sorry, Mike. For everything. For walking away last year. For ignoring you tonight. For cutting myself. Especially tonight.“ She blasted out. Her eyes closed, her voice trembling.   
„Everything is okay. As long as you stay alive everything is fine.“ His hand played with her braided hair. „I tried my best to make you understand how important this is… but if you don’t want me to care that much.. I'll accept it. I saw how uneasy things made you tonight. Maybe my way isn’t your way. But I’d appreciate it if you would stay tonight. With someone. You should not be alone with this storm in your mind.“

 

Luna nodded. „I’ll stay with you…“

  
Half an hour later she and Mike left Baron’s room, heading back down to the bar. Tyler was still sitting there, staring into his glass.   
„Hey man, you should go to sleep…“ Mike said, petting Tyler’s shoulder.  
Slowly Tyler looked up. His eyes red and puffy.  
„What’s wrong, Ty?“ Mike sat down next to him. Luna just stood there, watching silently.  
„Nothing. I'm fine.“ She knew that phrase way too well. He wasn’t. Clearly.  
„You’re not… I can see it.“ Mike let out a sigh. "She told me the same last time we met. And it was a lie. Because I could see the pain in her eyes. And I can see the same pain in your eyes right now.“

 

„Can I talk to you in private?“ Luna said suddenly, looking at Tyler. She could see it too.   
He agreed and Mike got out of his chair, walking away to the other side of the bar. Luna was still able to feel his gaze.

  
„You’re like me, right?“ She whispered, pulling up her sleeves a little bit to show off her bandages.  
„yeah…“ he whispered back, looking her directly into her dark eyes. „They just don’t see it. Sometimes I wish they would. That someone would care enough to realize…“ He drowned his cocktail, ordering another one. Luna did too.

  
„Nobody ever saw or said something to me.. until last year Mike did. I always wanted to be saved. But when he tried I ran. Because I was overwhelmed.“ Luna said, pausing when the waiter brought the cocktails. „I know both sides, Tyler. Wanting to be saved and running away from it. It both sucks.“

  
He took a long sip of the colourful drink in front of him. „It’s hard to hide my feelings sometimes. But I created this mask. Happy face, all funny and over the top. They believe it. And from time to time I do too. But seeing all the effort Mike made to show you how much he cares… it just made me crumble.“

  
„I know I should say something like stay strong or whatever. But I know too damn well that nothing can change the way you feel unless you want it to change. On a scale from one to ten. How much do you want to hurt yourself right now.“

  
„Eight, I guess.“ Tyler looked desperate.

  
„Do you have enough self-control not to?“

  
„No. I know I'll do it anyway.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is single in this story..just to clarify


	5. Chapter 5

Luna felt so bad for him. „You want me to be there and keep an eye on you? I can take care of your wounds.“   
He nodded. „If you want to. It would be the first time to share this with someone.“

  
„How do we get rid of Mike?“ Luna asked, chewing on her lower lip.   
„Don’t know.“ Tyler took another long sip from his drink.  
„We gotta flirt a little when he comes back and…yeah. I think you got the idea.“ She felt herself blush. The wrestler nodded, giving Mike the sign to come back. With a good whiskey in hand sat down at their table.   
Luna asked some random questions about touring, fans and hotels to start flirting with Tyler.

  
„Do you ever get lonely on the road?“ She smirked at Tyler, nearly ignoring Mike.   
„Sometimes…but there is a _solution_ for everything.“ Tyler winked, licking his lips.   
„I’d like to be a _solution_ one day…“ Luna giggled, finishing her cocktail. She took the strawberry from the side of the glass, tongue swirling around the deep red fruit before gently sucking it into her mouth.

  
„You could be mine tonight.“ His voice sounded a lot deeper than before.   
She could feel Mike rolling his eyes. But he remained silent.

  
Another cocktail later Luna was heavily flirting with Tyler, telling him about how gorgeous he was and how much she liked his body.   
„We should head to my hotel room, beautiful lady.“ He whispered.  
„Have a good night, Mike…“ Luna said, feeling slightly bad. But joining Tyler sounded way better than another argument with the ring announcer.

  
„I have no clue, what the fuck is happening…but I pray to God that everything happens for a reason.“ He sounded disappointed.  
She leaned towards him, whispering right into his ears. „You got a girlfriend… otherwise I would join you tonight and let you take care of me.“  
They left Mike at the bar.

 

A few minutes later they arrived in his hotel room on the ninth floor. The storm was still heavy outside. Just like the one in their troubled souls.

  
She stood at the window, watching the rain hitting the glass. Tyler turned on the radio, filling the room with music. He walked up behind her, his hands gently touching her hips. His warm breath against her neck.

  
„It’s beautiful outside…“ She whispered shakily.  
„You are beautiful.“ His lips ghosting over her skin. „I want to see your cuts and scars before I show you mine…“

  
She turned around, looking into his eyes. They looked like troubled water. Luna started to undress herself. The jacket and the shirt. Suddenly she felt insecure. But she knew she had to continue for Tyler to feel comfortable with her around.   
When she was in her underwear she started to uncover the fresh cuts. Tyler stood there, watching her carefully.

  
„This is so beautiful…“ He mumbled before stepping closer. Their eyes locked on each other. He pulled off his shirt. No scars to be seen. But when he finally removed his pants she saw his scars. A few fresher cuts too.

  
„Can’t use any visable spots…sadly. My legs are always covered. I… I have never really shown those scars to anyone.“ He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Luna looked deep into his eyes, her hands on his bare chest as he leaned down once again. This time kissing her. It was a desperate kiss. Both of them lost in the storm. His hands gently touching her arms. She felt pain whenever he touched a cut but it just made it so much better.

 

When they broke the kiss both were panting heavily. Tyler stepped away, pulling out a small bag from his suitcase. He showed her what his basics were. Fresh blades, something to disinfect and different bandages.

  
„It’s not much but on tour it’s enough. At home I've got so much more… like salt water spray. It increases the pain even on small cuts. I can’t do the deep, heavy ones. Can’t risk them bleeding through my gear.“ Tyler was shaking a little bit as he placed everything he needed on the bed.

  
„Can… can I… get a blade?“ Luna asked with a broken voice. Within a second she had thrown away her plans to just keep an eye on Tyler. She knew how quickly things could get ugly when you’re alone and feeling this urge. But her own darkness overshadowed everything.

  
Even though she just had fresh cuts on her arm she felt the urge to cut. He just handed her one over without even thinking of it.   
He desinfected his leg and just started cutting a shallow kriss-cross pattern on his left tigh. He moaned softly everytime the blade cut his skin. It was a thing of beauty to watch Tyler.

  
Luna placed her blade against her wrist, cutting a few times. She moaned just as much as Tyler did before. He had stopped his afford to watch her.

  
„Want to help me?“ She asked sweetly, voice filled with a sick kind of happiness. He cleaned his hands, grabbing a new blade.   
„Where do you want it?“ He asked, smirking at the younger woman.  
„Where ever you want… you can do whatever you'd like to. I'm yours to claim.“

  
He gently pushed her down onto the mattress, crawling on top of her. A small cut right above her collarbone. Another one on her breast. A very fine line to her navel. A heavier cut down to her pants.

  
He watched the blood flowing out of the cuts. He leaned down, kissing her roughly. They felt the blood in between their bodies. Luna wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer.  
He felt the blood from her wrist on his neck. It was warm and kinda heavy. The smell of blood had filled the room.

  
Tyler felt her blood running down his neck. A drop landed on her collarbone. That was the moment he realized that she was bleeding badly. Another drop.

  
He sat up, grabbing her wrist. Everything was covered in blood. He felt panic rising.

  
„It’s nothing…“ she whispered, trying to pull him back in for another kiss.

  
„It’s bleeding way too much.“ He got up to get a wet wash cloth from the bathroom. There was blood all over the bed and their bodies.  
Gently he whiped the blood from her wrist. It was still bleeding a lot. „There is a god damn gap…“ His voice was high pitched. He was freaking out.

  
„Just hand me over the bandages.“ Luna was definitely not happy.   
„This needs stiches!“ Tyler said, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He tried calling someone while Luna just stared at the pouring blood.

  
„It doesn’t work…Can’t get through.“ Tyler started putting his clothes back on. „Stay here…“ He said before leaving the room. 


	6. Chapter 6

Luna couldn’t figure out what the hell he was doing but she felt damn good. She got up, getting herself a sparkling wine from the mini bar und drank it up quickly. Her wrist was still bleeding, dripping down her hand to fall down to the carpet.

  
When Tyler came back he wasn’t alone.   
It was Baron, his first aid kit in hand. He said nothing, sitting down on the bed before preparing everything. „He is really good with this…“ Tyler said. „He stiched me up a few times…“

  
Luna rolled his eyes before laying down next to Baron. He started to clean up her wounds. „Got nothing to numb that cut…“   
„Just do whatever you want. I would have put on some bandages and would be done by now.“

  
She didn’t even really flinched while Baron stiched up her cut. At one point she even fell asleep. It was Tyler who woke her up, kissing her cheek.  
„What ever sex games you two are playing.. Take care.“ Baron said as he finally left them.   
When the door was closed she laughed. „He doesn’t even got a clue about what _games_ I can play…“

  
Her arms were wrapped back into the white bandages as well as the ones on her body were covered. „Want to continue?“ Luna asked, smiling at Tyler.  
„I’d love to. But I'm afraid it would just escalate again. But you can sleep in my bed if you'd like to.“ The blonde started to clean up the room.

  
„I think I should leave… maybe Mike is still down there.“   
„if not.. he's got the room next to Corbin.“ Tyler watched as she walked into the bathroom to clean herself up before getting dressed.   
„I really enjoyed the time with you, _Prince Pretty_. I loved seeing my blood all over you. I loved your moans when that pretty blade cut through your perfect skin…“ Luna whispered, pulling Tyler in for another passionated kiss. „If you ever want to repeat this… You know where to find me.“

  
With that said she left, taking the elevator down. The doors opened and a drunken Mike stood right in front of her.   
„You leaving?“ He asked.  
„No. I was searching for you. Can I sleep in your room? There is so much I've got to tell you…“ Mike joined her in the elevator to get them to his room.

 

Once they entered Mike’s room Luna felt sick. Everything was overwhelming her at once. Mike, even though he was pretty drunk, realized it. His hands placed on her shoulders. „Hey.. it’s okay.“   
„No… it’s not. Mike….“ She whimpered, falling into his arms. Tears started streaming out of her dark eyes. The ring announcer wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. All she could focus on was his scent and his heartbeat. Her head was spinning.

  
„ _Save me_ …“ she cried out weakly.   
„I will…“ He placed a kiss on her braided hair.   
She looked up, finding comfort in his eyes. Gently he whiped away the tears.  
„I want to make this pain just go away…“ He leaned down, his lips touching hers ever so slightly.

  
„I'm not strong enough, Mike… I'm _broken_..“ she whispered against his soft lips.   
„I'll fix you. Piece by piece. We'll get through this.“


	7. Chapter 7

While Luna slept in the comfy bed, Mike slept on the floor right next to her.  
The wake up call came way too early. With just a couple hours of sleep Mike felt like he was hit by a truck or something. Luna also wasn’t feeling that well. With tired, puffy eyes she watched Mike as he got up.

  
„Good morning.“ He scratched the back of his head and yawned.  
Luna said nothing, her guilt taking away the ability to speak. Her eyes began to water.  
„What’s wrong, beautiful?“ He asked, sitting down next to her. Gently he placed his hand on her cheek.

  
She cried. Minute after minute. It just got worse. Mike took out his phone, texting Finn for some help. When the Irish man arrived Luna was hyperventilating, still crying and curled up into a ball on the bed.

  
Finn got a large towel from the bathroom. „Help me get her up. We need to wrap her tightly.“  
Slowly they pulled her into an upright position, Finn wrapping the towel around her shoulders, as well as his own arms from behind.

  
„Just let everything out… don’t try to stop it. Whatever you feel… just let it out. It is okay. Nobody will ever judge you. You’re still alive.“ He whispered into her ear.  
Mike just stood there, watching whatever Finn was doing.

  
„What do you feel right now?“  
„Anger… Panic… I…I.. dis…disappointed Mike…“ She cried out silently.  
Mike sat down in front of her trembling body. „No… you didn’t. I am very proud of you. You asked for help. You are not alone… I'll be there for you.“

  
Finn kept breathing softly against her ear, making her body tingle.  
„And I'll be there too.. and not only me.. We care for you. No matter how hard your fight may be… you’re not going through this alone.“

 

A few minutes later she felt pretty relaxed, Finn still had his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Mike offered her an apple juice from the mini bar, as well as a chocolate bar he got the day before.  
„Want to go down to get some real breakfast with us?“ Mike asked after she devoured the chocolate.  
She nodded and Mike got up to give her a fresh shirt.

  
„Really, the Grinch?“ Luna laughed but took the shirt and got to the bathroom.  
„You can use the toothbrush..I've got my own.“ The ring announcer said through the door.  
With freshly brushed teeth, brushed and new braided hair the stepped out. Luna felt their gazes on her arms. „Can you stop staring at the bandages? It’s… I don’t like it…“ She whispered before taking the jacket from the chair to cover up her arms. 

  
Together they made their way to the breakfast room downstairs. She felt her heart beating a lot faster as she spotted Tyler sitting alone in the corner. Without hesitation she walked over to sit down next to him. He smiled at her.

  
„Are you okay?“ She asked quietly.  
„Yes and no. Corbin came back to stay with me… couldn’t do anything.“ He rolled his eyes, nodding his head towards the big buffet. Corbin had a filled plate in hand as he turned around to walk over.

  
„Like a babysitter.“ Tyler said with annoyance filling his voice. Baron arrived at the same time as Finn and Mike. Both had gotten coffee and some eggs.  
„We didn’t knew what you’d like.. so just take it yourself.“ Mike said before sitting down next to her.   
„Would you mind joining me, Tyler?“ Luna asked sweetly.  
„Of course…“ The blonde responded, getting up.

 

Luna gabbed a coffee, some eggs and bacon. „I’d love to continue what we started yesterday…“ She whispered as she grabbed some toast and jam.  
„Yeah…me too.“ He smirked. „It’s our off day…soooo there’s a lot of time.“   
„Don’t think Mike is going to let me alone.. and you got Corbin.“ Luna let out a frustrated sigh.

  
„I got a plan…Let’s just hang out all together for a bit… like gym or something like that. I'm sure Mike hasn’t got a good conditioner for your beautiful hair.“ He smiled, his eyes had this sparkle.   
„Yeah.. let’s try. Otherwise I’ll leave in the afternoon and come back later.“ Luna winked at Tyler before they returned to the table. Seth had joined the group, as well as Dean.

  
„Good morning guys…“ 


	8. Chapter 8

About an hour later they all hit the gym together. Luna wasn’t really into it but having high hopes to continue the intimacy with Tyler made everything worth it.

  
Mike wasn’t really into workouts either, so Seth took the young lady under his wings. Showing her a few easy workouts that she could do at home.   
Luna was sweating her ass off in the longarm shirt Mike gave her to cover up all the bandages.

  
Nearly two hours later they got back to the hotel. Luna picked up her freshly cleaned clothes from the reception, thanking them with a faked smile.

  
„I really need a shower…“ Luna said loudly.  
„I got the best haircare stuff of the entire roster!“ Tyler smiled and hooked her arm, guiding her to the elevator. Baron followed them quickly.

  
„I’ll come with you… I'll change your bandages.“ He said, eyeing Tyler.   
They knew they had no choice to escape Baron in this situation. So they went to his room first were he got his first aid kit before making their way to Tyler’s room.

  
Baron helped Luna taking off the sweaty bandages.   
„Still looks pretty bad.“ He mumbled, before grabbing his phone to text someone.  
„I'll join you in the shower if that’s okay…“ Tyler said playfully, kissing her cheek as he went by.  
„More than okay.“

Corbin rolled his eyes. „What the hell is happening between you too?“ He couldn’t figure it out.

 

Silently Luna and Tyler stepped into the bathroom, locking the door. The blonde wrestler turning on the water before turning his attention to Luna.

  
„Before you say anything… what is up with Corbin?“ Luna asked.  
„He doesn’t know that I cut myself. Not really. He just thinks I am a bit clumsy. He stiched me up a few times. I always lied to him…like I slipped and fell onto an empty glass.. he never asked anything… but I'm afraid he suspects something.“

  
„But he cares… Maybe he's the one to save you… like Mike is trying to save me.“ Luna whispered, starting to push up Tyler’s expensive shirt. They undressed each other slowly, enjoying touching the cuts and scars.  
Finally they stepped into the warm shower, cleaning themselves up. Kissing deeply.

  
Tyler washed her hair gently with his favorite shampoo. He took his time to make sure every inch of her hair got cleaned while she just closed her eyes and enjoyed it.

  
After they had finished showering she put on her own clothes and Tyler put his miracle conditioner into their hairs. Both of them smelling like a tropical cocktail afterwards.

When they stepped out of the foggy bathroom Corbin was sitting on the bed, looking something between shocked and pissed. In his hands Tyler’s little cutting bag.

  
Tyler let out a sigh.

  
„It’s not what you think, Corbs.“ He said.


	9. Chapter 9

Slowly Baron got up, walking up to Tyler before hugging him tightly. „I think it is… Why haven’t you said anything, Breezy?“ he whispered, kissing Tyler’s wet hair.

  
The blonde turned into a crying, sobbing mess in the arms of his friend. Luna just stood there, not knowing what to do. Baron carried Tyler to the bed, holding him close until he fell asleep in Corbin’s arms.

  
His hand brushed through the wet hair every now and then as he watched him sleep for a while. The silence was creepy for Luna. Like she would be punished by Corbin with it.

 

She was still standing, leaning against the wall. Slowly she got her shoes.  
„You should stay.“ The bald wrestler said, smiling gently at her. „He would appreciate it, I guess. And I'm not mad at either of you. I know it’s something that you can’t control from time to time. I always thought he was just…a little clumsy with things. Because sometimes he can get distracted so easily. But yesterday I realized that there was more to it. That he's just as lost as you.“ Baron let out a sigh. „Usually he locks his suitcase but when you two headed into the shower I saw it was unlocked. I knew I would find something. God damn it… why haven’t I realized it sooner?“

 

  
Luna sat down on the floor right in front of the bed, looking up to Baron. „He never wanted to show how bad he feels. And we all can hide our cuts and scars if we want to. Guess he never wanted to be a burden to any of you. It broke him to see how much Mike cared about me.“

 

Tyler slept for an hour in which Luna talked to Baron about her past and how she started to lose herself in the blood and pain. And how he had learned to stich up people.

„I had a good friend that was a doctor..and when I started wrestling I asked him to teach me… I stiched myself a few times..like when I got my leg busted open on the god damn stairs. Now the others know and yeah… I like doing that. And never saw a bad scar on anyone I stiched.“ He laughed quietly.

 

  
Tyler had opened his eyes, looking at Corbin with fear. „Hey.. there’s no need to be afraid, Breezy boy.“ Baron smiled at him and Tyler smiled back at him.  
„You’re not mad at me?“ he sat up, watching Baron closely.  
„No. And I'll never be. But I promise I'll be there for you.“

 

They talked a little bit about different stuff before heading up to the top floor to enjoy a meal in the expensive restaurant.   
Mike joined them, slightly worried but he was texting with Baron before and knew Luna was save.

  
He hugged her tightly, feeling her heart pounding.   
„Everything okay?“ He whispered in her ear.  
„Yeah.. I'm fine. Just… I don’t know. Too much in my mind.“ They separated and sat down an the table. The waiter asked about their food and drink choices before coming back with some fresh bread and salted butter.

  
It was an awkward silence at the table until the waiter came back with their drinks. Luna sat next to Tyler, holding hands under the table and smiling at each other from time to time. They felt this intimate connection between them. For her it was the first time she really felt something. Something she couldn’t put a name tag on. But it felt good.  
They all had a clear tomato soup as a starter. For the main dish they all had different food, sharing whatever was on the table before the finished with some delicious Panna Cotta.   
The weather was way better than the night before so they had an amazing view over the city. Luna leaned over to Tyler. „I’d love to see all the lights tonight…“

  
„Yeah…“ He smiled at her. „I'll take you up here tonight.“   
All she wanted to do was to kiss those perfect lips but she knew she shouldn’t do that in the middle of a restaurant.  
Afterwards they headed back to their rooms. Tyler with Baron, Luna with Mike. Luna could feel her heart break a little when she saw the sadness on Tyler’s face.

 

„Would you like to play something? Got my Switch with me.“ Mike said when they were back in his room.  
They played for a while together before she got distracted and lost every round.  
„What’s wrong?“ Mike looked at her with concern.

  
„I don’t know… I feel so damn good with Tyler around. And right now I miss him… already.. what should I do when you’re leaving tomorrow?“ Luna let herself fall onto the pile of pillows. Mike joined her, gently touching her face.

  
„You could join us.. just four days left on the tour. Maybe… come over to the US with us. I can care for you there.“   
„You’ve got a girlfriend, Mike. Bet she won’t be amused with me showing up.“

  
„I know I got her.. but she’s very supportive with everything I do. I'm sure she will be fine with you coming with me.“  
Luna laughed. „Don’t think so. But I could really join you for the rest of the tour?“

  
Mike had a huge smile on his face. „Of course. There is more than enough space on the bus and you can sleep in my rooms. The rest…yeah, we figure it out.“

 

  
„Do you believe that I can be saved?“ Luna let out a sigh, snuggling against his chest.   
„If you want to be saved, yes. It will take time and a lot of hard work. But I'll do everything I can to help you.“

  
Luna let out a sigh. „I want to…somehow. But I just love the feeling way too much. It’s something you can’t understand if you never felt that way before. When all the sudden you feel alive. The physical pain erasing the mental pain.. it’s like being high. You can see the blood, feel it, smell it.. it’s a rush.“ She touched her wrist where she had the stitches to cause herself some pain. A low moan escaping her lips. 


	10. Chapter 10

Mike felt uneasy watching her but he knew it would be a fight to get her out of this headspace.  
Her grip on her wrist increased, she wasn’t even trying to hide what she was doing.   
„You shouldn’t do this…“ He whispered, grabbing her hand to stop her.

  
„You don’t understand anything about it, Mike. It makes me feel good. I can feel that I’m not dreaming. Damn, I'm laying next to you.. in your hotel bed. You have no clue how often I'd dreamed about this. About you touching me… telling me it was going to be alright before kissing me… showing me how damn good life can feel.“ Luna looked him into the eyes. „Now it’s Tyler who can do that… At least I hope so.“

  
Mike let out a quiet sigh. „I’m so sorry.. I never meant to kiss you last night.. it..it just happened. I don’t want to spark false hope. If Tyler makes you feel better.. that’s great.“

 

Luna got up from the bed. „I really like him. And I think he likes me. I want to get to know him… see where life's gonna take us. Something just feels right about him.“ She said, the memory of him cutting her making her smile.   
„You should spend time with him if it’s that way.“   
„That’s exactly what I’m about to do…“ Luna grabbed her stuff and left.

 

Baron was still glued to Tyler. The blonde opening his door after she had knocked and rolled his eyes towards Corbin.

  
„He doesn’t want to leave…“ he mumbled.

  
„I'll make him.“ Luna smirked, wrapping her arms around Tyler to pull him into a deep kiss. They stumbled towards his bed where Corbin was sitting. She pulled up Tylers shirt, gently touching his perfect, soft skin. Quickly the shirt found it’s way to the floor.

 

Corbin started coughing. „I don’t know if you noticed me… but hey.“

  
Luna grinned at him. „I know you’re there. Wanna join the fun?“ Luna pushed Tyler onto the mattress, right next to Corbin.

  
„uhm… no thanks.“ His face turned a slightly reddish color. Slowly he got up. „As long as you two won’t kill yourselves I guess you can do whatever you want… I'll check in with you later.“  
With that said he left.

 

  
They giggled. „Well.. that was an easy task.“ Luna smirked, leaning down to kiss Tyler.   
„How did you got away from Mike?“ He whispered between heated kisses.

  
„Just told him that you make me feel good… that you maybe can give me what he won’t.“ Her lips ghosting over his left collarbone, causing goosebumps on Tyler’s soft skin.   
„Whatever you want…“ He moaned quietly.   
„I want you to cut me again, Tyler… it felt so damn good…“ Her tongue swirling around his left nipple, gently scratching her teeth over the sensitive skin.

  
„Only if you'll return the favor, Luna… Cut me..make me bleed and let me feel alive.“ He pulled her up, kissing her.

  
He turned them around, pressing her into the matress. „I never knew that this could be so damn arousing when you share it with someone…“ Once again he kissed her, grinding against her. Then he got up, picking up his bag from the suitcase.

 

They both were covered in blood, mostly Luna’s. She had cuts all over her naked body. Tyler had a few ones on his legs. His weren’t that deep as hers but enough to make him feel better.

  
Ever so slowly Tyler pushed himself into her. Both moaning in unison. He still had the sharp blade in his hand, cutting her breasts over and over again to draw more blood. The blonde thrusting hard into her, feeling more alive than ever before.

  
They lost themselves slowly but surely in a mixture of pain, blood and sex.

 

A loud knock on the door pulling them out of the aftermath. They had been laying there for ages, just enjoying the feeling.

  
Quickly they jumped into their clothes.

 

Another knock.

 

„Damn, the whole bed is bloody… we can’t let anyone see…“ Tyler panicked.   
„Just let me handle it…“ She kissed him, walking past him to open the door just slightly. Baron and Mike standing in front of her. 


	11. Chapter 11

„Hey, sorry guys.. we..we just had the time of our lives and yeah… Tyler is still naked and you know…we were just on our way into the shower.“ She smirked.

  
„okay…“ Mike said with a tone in his voice she couldn’t name.  
„I don’t care…“ Baron said, pushing the door open and her aside.

  
Tyler was sitting in the corner, sobbing and crying.

 

Corbin sat down next to his friend, pulling him into his arms. Slowly Luna turned around to face Mike and his more than disappointed look.   
„I'm sorry…“ She whispered, storming out of the room without shoes and her belongings. In the elevator she started crying desperately. Why? Why did Corbin just pushed her out of his way to find the mess they made? Why had they done it in the first place? She had thrown away her chance to be saved.

  
Finally the door opened and she wanted to rush out of the elevator. Just to bump into something or someone. Luna realized it was Dean she nearly ran over.

  
„Sorry…“ she mumbled, trying to get away only to bump into Seth who appeared next to Dean.  
„You seam a little stressed out, Luna.“ Seth smirked.   
She nodded slowly. „I fucked up… It was awesome to get to meet all of you.. thanks for everything but I really need to leave right now.“   
Seth phone vibrated in his hand. He looked at the screen. „Looks like you just ran away… Or how should I understand 'Luna on the lose'?“ He laughed, grabbing her wrist and gently pushed her back into the elevator.

  
Seth called Mike on the way up, asking where to bring her. They met in Tyler’s room. The bed still covered in blood, Tyler snuggled up against Corbin on the floor and Mike’s face colored in an angry reddish tone.  
She felt panic rising in her chest. Her breathing increasing, her view getting blurry. It was Baron who noticed how bad she felt. He got up, Tyler leaning against the wall instead of leaning against Corbin.

  
„Hey, Luna. It’s okay…“ He whispered gently, trying to grab her hand. But instead he just made it worse. The young woman started sobbing, falling unceremoniously onto the floor.  
„Dean, get me a large towel.. Seth, open the window and place a chair there.. Mike, call Finn, we need him here.“ He said firmly, kneeling down to Luna.

  
She was hyperventilating, not able to focus on anything. Her body felt like a prison to her. There were so many feelings and she couldn’t get them out of her system.   
Finally Finn arrived, visibly shocked about the situation. He dropped to his knees, whispering to Luna that he was there to help.   
„It’s okay to feel this way, Luna. Everything will be fine in a few minutes. Can I touch you?“ She said nothing, still too far away from reality. Corbin had placed the towel over her shaking body so Finn knew he could touch her with the fabric between them. Gently he placed his hand on her shoulder, rubbing the tense muscles.

 

  
„I want you to give in to the fear. Your soul wants to show you something… let’s find out what it is.“ Careful he sat her up, wrapping his arms around her. His breathing against her ear slowly pulled her back into reality.   
„What do you feel right now? Just say whatever you need to say. Nobody will judge you. I promise.“

  
„Fear. Pain. Hate.“ She spat out, trying desperately to get air into her lungs.   
„What do you fear?“ He was holding her a little tighter, trying to give her safety.   
„Being alone… die alone. I don’t want to die alone…“ Her voice was trembling.

  
„You won’t. Do you understand, Luna? You’re not going to die. And surely not alone.“ His beard scratching her cheek just a little but it made her whole body tingle. „You said you feel pain… where?“

„My left wrist… It hurts…“ She sobbed.   
„Can Baron take a look? He's going to be very gentle and he won’t do anything else than take a look. I just want to make sure you’re okay…“ Finn whispered right into her ear. Luna nodded ever so slightly and Corbin gently reached for her wrist.   
He pulled up the sleeve, taking a look at the bloody wrist.

  
„There is one deeper cut… I guess the nerve is injured. Can you still move your fingers?“ Baron said, trying to whisper.  
Luna moved her fingers. „Hurts…“ she cried.  
„It’s not that bad. It'll go away very soon.“   
Tyler crawled over, curling up next to her, placing his head on her leg and looked at her. „I need you…“ He whispered, closing his eyes.Her right hand found it’s way into his hair. He literally purred as she kept petting his head and hair.

  
The room was silent apart from the little noises Tyler made. Finn’s head still on her shoulder, breathing into her ear to calm her down completely. Dean and Seth left the room silently to give them more space and privacy.

  
Over half an hour later Luna was back to her normal self. Still enjoying Finns breathing and touching Tyler gently. Tyler was fast asleep, snoring slightly. She felt herself falling for him a little bit at a time.   
Mike and Baron were clearly texting with each other while watching Luna, Finn and Tyler.


	12. Chapter 12

Slowly Luna turned her head to face Finn. „Thank you…“ She whispered, smiling at the Irish.  
„Glad you’re better now. But Baron should take a look at your wrist…and whatever else is cut open. There is a lot of blood on the sheets…“

  
Luna shrugged, turning her attention back to Tyler. Baron got up to get something to clean her cut. Mike handed him Tyler’s bag. Baron also got a wet washcloth. He sat down in front of Luna and Finn finally released her out of his hug. He took the towel off of her.  
„Can we take off your jacket and your shirt? There must be more…“ Baron said, sounding insecure.

  
With her approval Finn undressed her carefully, trying not to wake up the sleeping, blonde beauty on her lap. All three were shocked when they saw her whole upper body covered in dried blood.

  
„Oh my God!“ Mike said, nearly yelling  
Tyler twitched and opened his eyes. He yawned, rubbing his eyes. He saw Luna half naked and everyone staring at her. Slowly he sat up.

  
„You’re a sleepy little prince…“ Luna said, smiling at him before leaning over to place a kiss on his lips.   
„Are there more?“ Mike asked, clearly pissed off.   
„Yes.“ Luna turned around to look at the ring announcer. „I told you, you'll never understand it. It’s a god damn rush… I know I've disappointed you. But I never felt better.“ She let out a sigh before getting up to take off her pants.   
Non of the cuts were really severe, so Baron just cleaned them.

 

  
„Can they leave?“ Tyler asked, pointing at Mike and Finn. Baron nodded and both men got up to leave the room.  
„You too, right?“ Baron asked with a gentle tone in his voice. Tyler nodded, getting up to take off his sweatpants.

  
„‘m sorry…“ he mumbled while Baron cleaned the cuts.  
„It’s okay, Breezy. I guess there are going to be a lot of ups and downs….“

  
Luna laughed a little. „This wasn’t a down, Baron. This was about having fun… sharing this was the most intimate thing I've ever done and somehow we both got caught up in it. It was like… cleaning your soul… feeding it something different.“

  
„I know, I can’t understand it… but this sounds crazy. Having fun is one thing… but cutting yourself is a whole different thing. You could die… or at least hurt yourself permanently. You can be grateful that your nerves on your wrist are just sore and overreacting and not cut through.“

  
Luna rolled her eyes. „My wrist is very sensitive since I cut there.. it’s always the same spot that feels strange. Let me tell you, I know what I do to myself. Have been doing this since I was 13… I just need to feel things. And… isn’t wrestling another form of this? Getting hurt on purpose?“

  
Baron got angry. „Yeah, right… we all just want to feel pain.“ He rolled his eyes. „A few really like the pain but not because they are depressed or whatever.. it’s kinda sexual.“  
Luna laughed. „Maybe I should wrestle. I think I fit into both…“  
Meanwhile Mike went down to the reception to ask for new sheets while Luna pulled off the bloody ones. Tyler went into the bathroom to wash his face while Baron just stood there, not knowing what to say anymore. He never felt this helpless and he knew Mike did too.

  
Finally the ring announcer came back with fresh sheets and Luna put them on just to fall into the bed face first. „I’m so tired…“ She mumbled while shoving a pillow under her face.

  
Tyler joined her, his hand drawing patterns on her back. „I’m tired of fighting…“

  
„We’re gonna fight along with you…“ Mike said and Corbin agreed.


	13. Chapter 13

Luna and Tyler took a nap together while Baron and Mike sat down on the small couch, whispering about way to get them away from harming themselves.

  
„Fact is they seem to really like each other. If she decides to come to the US they shouldn’t be separated. But they shouldn’t be alone with each other. Guess that just sparks this shit even more.“ Corbin said, scratching the back of his head.

  
„They could live with me for a while..“   
„Sure? Last time I checked your girlfriend was jealous about you spending time with Nia and Alexa at Disney.“  
Mike let out a sigh. „I kinda want to get separated anyway… it’s just not working out. As soon as we’re back I'll just tell her to move out.“

  
„Be honest with me, Mike… Why do you do all of this for her?“ he nodded towards Luna.  
„Don’t know, man. It’s like.. we just clicked. And yeah…I want her to be happy.“ A soundless sigh left his lips.   
„Sure this is the only reason?“

 

Tyler woke up from his little nap, rolling onto his side to face Baron and Mike with tired eyes.

  
„‘m not feeling very well…“ The blonde mumbled, his face pale and his eyes unfocused.

  
Corbin reacted in no time, picking the much smaller man up to carry him into the bathroom. Tyler puked for minutes until there wasn’t anything left in his stomach. He was shaking and Baron was afraid he would pass out.   
With a cold, wet washcloth he rubbed Tylers face gently. „You still with me?“   
Tyler still was unable to focus or speak in any means.

 

  
„Mike, call the doc…something is definitely wrong with my boy…“ There was clearly desperation in Corbin’s voice.   
By the time the doc knocked on the door Tyler was back to sleep, leaning against Baron in the bathroom. Luna was still sleeping.  
The doctor from the medical team woke Tyler up.   
„Hey, Tyler.. are you okay?“ But instead of answering the question Tyler just puked himself because he was too weak to lean forward.

  
„Oh God..“ Baron said, petting Tyler’s hair gently.  
„I think he needs to get to the hospital. He's not responding.“ The doc said a few moments later.   
Mike, who stood at the door, went back to the bed to wake up Luna. She turned around, looking at him with half lidded eyes.  
„Hey, you need to get up.. put on your shoes, Tyler needs to get to the hospital.“

 

  
She was awake in seconds, jumping out of the warm bed to put on her shoes and grab her personal stuff. Baron and the doc had gotten Tyler up, he wasn’t able to stand or even work. His eyes kept rolling to the back of his head.

  
Mike grabbed a few things for Tyler’s suitcase while Baron carried his friend onto the bed.  
„We should call an ambulance… don’t think we can get him there safely.“ The doc said to Mike and Luna grabbed her phone to call the ambulance.

  
Baron started to take off Tyler’s shirt while Mike got a towel to wrap around the shaking body.   
„They should be here in about ten minutes…“ Luna said, pacing around.

 

An hour later Tyler was back to normal again. He had been dehydrated and his sugar was out of any norm because he hasn’t been eating properly.  
Luna had been glued to his side the whole time. She was afraid of losing him. But after the doctors finished their treatment she felt better. Holding his hand, talking to him about random stuff just to keep herself busy with something else than thinking.

  
„He should fly back home…“ Baron said. „He is stressed out so much.“  
„But he shouldn’t be alone…“ Mike let out a sigh. „I’ll ask if I can get home too..“  
„What about her?“ Baron asked, watching how gently Luna was while feeding Tyler a little bit of soup.

  
„If she wants she can join. Otherwise.. I don’t know. We can’t force her.“.   
Tyler had to stay in the hospital over night and Luna refused to leave his side. Baron and Mike both asked for the opportunity to fly home with Tyler and got their wish granted from the officials.

  
„Do you want to join us tomorrow?“ Mike asked, playing with his fingers on the bed.  
Luna looked at Tyler. Has was smiling at her, nodding just a little bit. He also wanted her to stay with them.

  
„Yes… but.. I have not enough money. Just lost my job last month… that’s why I'm losing my apartment next week.“   
„It’s fine… we will pay for your ticket and you'll be living with me. We'll find a job for you once you’re feeling better.“ The ring announcer couldn’t really contain his happiness.

  
„There is just one problem… I think you need to have your paperwork done weeks before…“ Luna sighed.   
„We’ll figure it out… maybe we can fly to Canada first… a little road trip through the US.“ Tyler said with the same excitement as Mike had shown previously.

 

The next day the rest of the roster continued their tour while Mike, Baron and Tyler stayed with Luna. Tyler got out of the hospital pretty early so they could say goodbye to their friends.

  
Mike had booked their flights to Canada because of Luna’s missing paperwork. All of the guys had been granted two weeks off from work so they could easily travel down to Florida.

 


	14. Chapter 14

  
It was the first time Luna experienced a first class flight. With everyone having their own little space she felt pretty alone for most of the time. She had been ordering drinks for almost two hours, the guys already sleeping in their pods.

  
She felt bad. With just one suitcase of her belongings flying over to Canada to drive illegally over the US border felt very wrong. But now it was too late. Her other belongings would be moved into a storage unit Mike had paid for.

  
Leaving everything behind wasn’t easy. In fact it was hurting her badly. She felt the alcohol clouding her mind as she asked for another tiny bottle of whiskey.

 

The liquor couldn’t ease the pain. But she knew what could.   
The flight attendant helped her to turn her seat into her bed and left her alone. Quickly she broke her phone case in half, the thin plastic would at least help to silence her mind for a moment.

  
A few hard scartches through the skin above her hip bone. She felt the skin breaking, ripping almost. A few droplets of blood pouring out of the wounds. She let out a nearly happy sigh.   
Quickly she put away the bloody plastic pieces before falling asleep.

 

Tyler woke her up two hours later. He had dark bags under his eyes, his blonde hair hanging in every direction.  
„Can I join you?“ He whispered with his sleepy, raspy voice. He nodded and he slipped into her small cabin, crawling under her blanket. They kissed each other gently, just enjoying being close to someone.

  
There was so little space that Tyler was laying halfway over her body. His weight making the cuts burn more than they did before but Luna remained silent. Somehow they fall asleep together, hands tangled.   
Another two hours later Mike woke them up, asking about having a meal together. He looked disappointed as he found Tyler sleeping snuggled up against her. She felt bad. But Tyler gave her everything she needed. More than Mike could ever give.  
After the meal the airline provided Luna and Tyler sat a the small bar, talking about his travelling over the last years.

  
Mike had turned their offer to join down, Baron was back to sleep the last bit they could on their eight hour flight.

 

When they finally landed in Toronto she felt ill. It felt like the world was crushing down on her. She got clingy, refusing to leave Tyler’s side for more than a minute. Baron got the motorhome and she immediately cuddled up in the back with the blonde. Mike was clearly upset with how much time she was spending with the wrestler. But he knew that they both had a long way coming up and they were trying to be there for each other.

 

An hour later they arrived at the Niagra falls, Luna fast sleep in Tyler’s arms.   
„She’s cute…“ he mumbled, gently kissing her forehead. He noticed how warm she was but thought nothing about it. It was pretty warm in the camper too.

  
They woke her up, getting out of the motorhome to take in the beauty of the water falls. It was late afternoon when they got into a nearby grocery store to get some stuff they would need for the first days on the road.  
Afterwards the searched for a nice place to park their new home to get some sleep to get rid of the jet lag. Luna stayed with Tyler in the double bed while Baron and Mike got the two single beds.

 

Tyler was up first in the morning, sneaking out of Luna’s tight hug to provide some breakfast for all of them. He wasn’t especially good at cooking but he could make delicious pancakes.

  
He also prepared some fresh fruits and vegetables as well as eggs and bacon. When he finally finished he woke up the others. Luna was upset that Tyler hat left her alone but after trying his pancakes she was in a better mood.

 

Before passing the border Luna had to hide underneath one of the single beds, covered with some clothing so nobody would find her if they would look inside the camper.  
Luckily they didn’t even cared and on the next stop the guys helped her out. She had fallen asleep once again.

  
„So… congrats.. you made it to the US. Now your new life stars, little one.“ Corbin said, petting her hair. „Damn, must have been like a sauna down there.. you‘re sweaty.“ He laughed.

  
„Sorry…“ she mumbled before grabbing a bottle of cold water.   
It was a full five hour drive to New York. She nearly slept the whole time in Tyler’s arms.

 

  
„I think she’s got fever…“ Tyler said quietly, trying not to wake her up.   
„Damn…“ Mike said.  
„Oh fuck… did anyone check her cuts since Tyler’s incident?“ Baron said, panic filling his voice.

  
They stopped at a pharmacy to get medicine, new bandages and whatever Corbin needed to treat her. When he came back Luna was still sleeping.  
He pulled out a thermometer, checking her temperature. „Guess that’s why she’s just sleeping the whole time. Something must be infected.“

  
Mike woke her up gently.   
„What’s wrong?“ Luna asked after she realized the three were staring at her.  
„How do you feel?“ Baron asked firmly.  
„Sleepy…“ She mumbled, trying to hide her face in Tyler’s sweatshirt.

  
„You've got fever. Guess you got yourself an infection somewhere. Undress, please.“ Corbin said, the tone of his voice causing her goosebumps. Slowly she got up, undressed until she was just in her underwear and Baron started taking off the bandages.  
Most of them looked pretty good, no reason for a fever like the one she had.

  
„I got more…“ She whispered, tears filling her eyes. Slowly she pulled down her panty enough to show the cuts from the flight.   
They looked nasty. All swollen, dark red and definitely filled with puss.

  
„Oh my God…“ Mike said.   
„When did you get them?“ Tyler asked with an angry tone in his voice.  
She let out a sigh. „On the flight here. You guys were sleeping and I was drunk. It felt like the world was crashing down on me. Leaving my home to join you… I just snapped.“ Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

Mike got up, pulling her into a tight hug.

  
„It’s okay.. You'll be fine.“ 


End file.
